You guys

Seriously. I need help.

What do people wear when it gets cold?

I've become very comfortable in the land of sunshine and bare legs and sky-high stilettos. Which has been fine for the past 11 months. But now not only am I coming back to a (currently snow-laden) England for Christmas, but I'll be in Amsterdam for New Year.

I'm reliably informed that the Dam is even colder than London.

What are all the cool kids wearing these days? More importantly, what are all the really-busty-can't-rock-the-androgynous-oversized-jumper-look cool kids wearing?

Or is that the cool kid rule? Can't be bigger than a B-cup, wear anything above a size eight, and it also helps if you've got the kind of cheekbones you can use to cut glass?

That's not going to work for me, people.

I have a camel coat. I've been wearing it with a tartan scarf and skinny jeans and moccasins. It's fine for LA cold. Which is about as cold as London on a warmish day in March.

I spent much of last Christmas huddled underneath a pile of blankets and two dogs, shivering and looking pathetically at my dad until he put the heating on. That's not going to work this year either. Apart from anything else, there's only one dog left, which means only half the body heat. Also the older my dad gets, the more miserly he gets with the thermostat.

So. I need recommendations for:

: : Waterproof shoes that I can wear with both skirts and skinny jeans, that don't cost as much as the down payment on a Ford Focus.

: : Layers to wear under my purdy camel coat that don't make me look like a) a total dick or b) the Michelin man.

: : Hats. I like hats. My current one keeps falling off my head, though. That's no use on a bike in Amsterdam.

Maybe not a hat quite like this...

How cold is it in Europe right now? Am I over-thinking this? Are you going to tell me it's actually only mildly chilly and I'll be just fine? Please tell me that. Please.

Top pic: Flavia Oliveira for Elle Espana, bottom pic Urban Outfitters